wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
(Source: spockdarlin, via just-anotherteenagegirl)
Am I the only one who keeps a score whenever there’s a pregnant woman? Like, I keep my own statistics i my head, where I place them in an age- and weightgroup to see where I should fit in. Like, I can go around thinking “She’s about the same size as me, but older, so why am I not pregnant?” It doesn’t make sense, but I do it all the time.
This is exactly how I’m feeling today….and most days actually.
Trying to remind myself that my life is more than a race to a baby. I am more than a woman without a baby.
But it’s not easy when other people “get” one and flaunt it everywhere. And it’s not that I’m not happy for them, because I am. But when is it my turn?
• It can’t be that hard. Just have more sex.
You’re telling me all I have to do is have sex?? I’ve wasted all this money on Dr appointments when I could have just had sex!? Thanks. I never thought of that.
• Maybe you’ll grow out of it.
No, dumbass. I won’t grow out if it. You don’t grow out of…
Don’t let the mixed signals fool you. Indecision is a decision. ”
having siblings is weird bc like one minute u want to strangle them with their own intestines and then later ur singing dramatic duets together